


Witnesses

by Pimpala27



Category: Hurts (UK Band)
Genre: Drinking, Implied Sexual Content, Inspired by Music, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:28:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26099431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pimpala27/pseuds/Pimpala27
Summary: The city of Manchester came alive in November 2005For Adam Anderson the the world lit up that night and he will never forget it
Relationships: Adam Anderson/Theo Hutchcraft
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I think I hated him in that moment. Because for a second I actually wished I could have this forever. I actually wondered what it would be like to know him.
> 
> He ruined me. Theo hutchcraft ruined me. And I let him.

Very few unique things happened that cold Saturday night in november. It was mundane really, nothing that didn't happen every other miserable weekend of my life. So I guess this isnt really a story worth telling. 

Except I remember every moment. And I'm still wondering if I even deserved those moments. Maybe there is a god, maybe, and he decided that this was exactly the thing I needed. It's funny because I was always looking for something different. Something to break me out of my small insignificant life. Something worth talking about. 

I didn't Believe in god. And I guess I still dont, but this night made me wonder if i should. 

Theo walked in the door just as I was staring at the dirty windows wondering how many hands had to have touched it for the glass to gain such an impressive layer of grime. 

Everything in the place was covered in grease and dirt and fingerprints. I really don't know why I ever went there. Besides the cheap and sometimes even free drinks which were never really that good until you were drunk enough not to taste them. 

I wasn't drunk that night, sipping a beer as though it might be my last. Surrounded by people that barely remembered my name I wasn't alone, but it sure as hell felt like it. Loneliness seemed to have been my constant state those days. 

Theo didn't seem to have that problem talking and laughing with a group that just fell into his orbit. He wasn't ever alone that night. 

He caught me staring and so help me God I actually blushed at the eye contact. I didn't blush, not ever, held myself to a much higher standard, but in that moment with those eyes focused on me I did. 

Maybe it was the beer affecting me. Maybe id taken one too many pills. I was all over the place that night. 

The stolen glances and misplaced winks quickly turned into something I really wasn't looking for that night. He bravely pushed me up against the brick wall in the alleyway and I caught on fast. 

It was almost a competition, he wanted control so badly but I swear he wanted to be controlled even more. And it was easy then to push back, hold our bodies so close that I could feel the racing beat of his heart, whisper in his ear every filthy thing I wanted to do to gim, and I saw it in his eyes exactly how much he needed me to give him that. 

He spoke encouragements none too softly as I pulled away just enough of his clothing to gain access to the sensitive skin and was delighted to find that he wasn't even wearing pants under his trousers. 

He groaned in my ear as I teased with him, all control he had over himself melted as I held him in my hands, and I almost lost it watching him fall apart. 

He wanted this, he wanted it so badly that I could see the relief in his eyes. I understood so completely, needing to be touched, known so intimately. And I don't know why I was the man he chose to give him this, but I was grateful, because I had the pleasure of watching him lose all control, of being able to feel his warmth and it was everything I didn't know I was looking for. 

He fell apart panting against my neck in such a desperate way. 

It was only then that the straining in my own trousers became painfully noticeable to me, too much pressure to ignore any longer. 

I got so caught up in the relief from my own hand that I almost didn't notice him watching, wide eyed, hunger already back in his eyes. 

It drove me further, his eyes capturing all of my movements. And I think it's safe to say it was already beginning to bring him close to that dangerous ledge that I knew we both loved. 

It was over all too quickly and the noise and smells rushed back to my senses, reminding me of just what dangerous precipice we were leaning on, and just how afraid I really should have been. 

He wasn't afraid. Walked right out of the alleyway into the public eye unconcerned that any stranger could put two and two together. 

He stood beside me later, leaning against the wall watching the commotion break out, clearly uninterested by it 

He asked none too hesitantly the questions that must have been swimming around his brain all night, and I answered as best as I could. 

We talked so long That the sun began to rise, an orange glow cast over the city, it was eerie, like flames in the distance. 

He grew tired and I walked him home, knowing full well how this night would end. 

Tensions grew once more in the tiny space of the lift and he pulled me close, neither of us willing to ignore the desire rushing through us. 

He was the finest drug I'd ever tasted, truly, and I wasn't ready to give it up. 

I pushed him down onto the couch, let him have his way, it was exactly what I wanted. 

I think I hated him in that moment. Because for a second I actually wished I could have this forever. I actually wondered what it would be like to know him. 

He ruined me. Theo hutchcraft ruined me. And I let him. 

I hated him when I left, when his hands lingered on my face. When he teared up as he teetered on the edge of release. When he kissed me so deeply. I hated him because I knew if he really knew me than he would hate me just as much as I did.


	2. Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I lost track of everything in the world, including myself. His warmth seeped into me, melted away the perpetual cold of Manchester. 
> 
> God, I don't know how I ever lived without his kisses, his tender touch. I guess I didn't.

I didn't think I would ever meet him again. And quite honestly I wasn't sure I would like it if I did. I had no choice but to go on with my life. Go back to the classes and the people and forget about him. 

My mind wouldn't let me. I cursed myself a million times a day. I couldn't even go to sleep without seeing those eyes that had looked up at me with something that wasn't just lust. 

I thought about emailing him. A thousand timed I would start writing and then delete the message. I really had no reason to contact him, but every time I wrote the lyrics to a song or picked up my keyboard my mind would go to him. 

He was an earworm, stealing my mind away from me. 

Christmas came and went, I spent 20 minutes on the dirty payphone shivering out in the rain, talking to the brother that had flown across the world to find himself but couldn't be bothered to find cell reception. 

We talked about dad. Ben said he was lonely. I told him to go fuck himself. That if he thought dad was lonely he should be the one to visit. I sure as shit didn't care. 

He told me about the kids he was helping, the effect they were having, and I almost forgot that I hated him for leaving. 

I woke up 20 times that night covered in my own sweat, shivering, wondering how the hell these dreams managed to have an effect on me. 

It was the day after Christmas and I was alone on campus. Not even my loser roommate had stayed behind. But I had nowhere to go. 

I wandered like a maniac, lost in the place I should have called home. 

I visited the library, used the nice computers that were always taken long before I managed to get there. Truth be told they weren't that nice. 

My email was full, messages from TAs trying to track down missing assignments before the end of the semester. Students frantically searching for study notes last minute, and one email from a name that caught my eye. 

He invited me to his Christmas party, and I wondered how he knew that I would be alone on Christmas. Perhaps I had told him, but I couldn't recall. I was all the more curious about why he was doing christmas late.   
I thought about it all day and all night. Wrote him a million songs that I would never play. The voice in the back of my mind told me that I could write him a million more, but it still would never make him love me. 

I didn't listen. 

I brought a twelve year old bottle of scotch that I had been saving since the day I turned 19. Decided now was as good a time as any to indulge. 

I wanted to impress him. That was a strange thought for me. I didn't Care what anyone thought. Didn't Share enough of myself for it to matter. But hed seen a part of me that I pretended didn't exist. He'd seen me desperate. 

He didn't make any sense. His life was disconnected. Everything he did and said contradicted the last thing. 

I met rose. I didn't know her but she sure as hell seemed to know me. I couldn't escape her gaze all night. It was strange to be seen. 

Theo was the centre of this world, the gravity holding everybody together, and I was the asteroid threatening to change everything.

I couldn't get a moment alone with him. Seeing him across the room and being blocked by somebody new introducing themselves to me. The universe kept getting in my way. 

The music playing was shit, utter crap that managed to make the charts because the world loved being fed crap apparantly. I couldn't understand how the man that had talked my ear off about prince and depeche mode could stand the stuff. 

He found me later, when rose had sent me off to dump the rubbish, cornered me wordlessly, stared into my eyes as if he could see right into my soul. 

I lost track of everything in the world, including myself. His warmth seeped into me, melted away the perpetual cold of Manchester. 

God, I don't know how I ever lived without his kisses, his tender touch. I guess I didn't. 

He moved as though he knew my every wish, pulled us into one, burning through every fear and anxiety I'd been holding onto. 

There was nothing but him.


	3. words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Christmas spirit left me with a bitter taste in my mouth, and a truly wicked hangover that I only regretted a little

Of the many curious things about Theo I wondered most about was the beautiful acoustic guitar stood upright in the corner of his bedroom, unused, a hidden display. 

He wouldn't look at it, his eyes would pass over it like it was empty space. Except I caught him once, staring at it, his mind running so far, but I didn't dare ask why. 

We Spent so much time in that room, hiding from the world, creating our own in favor. I knew every nook and cranny of the room, every creaky floorboard, every little thing hidden under the bed that he refused to acknowledge was there. 

I woke up every morning to see his face shrouded in dusty grey light, wondering just how my life had got this far. 

The Christmas spirit left me with a bitter taste in my mouth, and a truly wicked hangover that I only regretted a little. After our painfully brief encounter in the stairwell Theo managed to convince me to stay for the night. 

I slept in his bed that night, using the excuse of the small surface area to hold him close to me. I couldn't fall asleep for a long time. The combination of drunk dizziness and pure adrenaline keeping me from rest. He talked in his sleep, so distressed I almost thought to wake him. 

He was so beautiful. I couldn't ever tell him such a thing, but every time I caught a peek of him I was surprised yet again at the complexities of his beauty. Marvelous. 

I hated to leave this wonderful haven, but of course the world continued to turn, and it's centre wasn't him. Except apparently for me it was. 

My life was just as dull as ever before, but now I noticed, and my temporary cures were no longer enough to hold it at bay.

I really couldn't stand it. The awful emptiness surrounding my existence, the bleak future I was slaving away for. The life I had given everything for was halfway across the world and he'd taken all my hope with him. It was pitiful. 

School didn't matter, not that it ever had before, but I had somehow once managed to convince myself that it would create a path for the future, and as always I was a liar. 

I hardly spoke a word unless absolutely necessary, but now I kind of wanted to talk, I wished there was anybody that might listen. I was filled to the brim with secrets and ideas, and a blinding insanity, and maybe the words were finally coming together, but alas who was there to listen but my shadow. 

I called theo, maybe just to listen to his voice, and I wrote him a poem in the five minutes that it took me to finally hang up the phone after he was gone. 

I wrote him all the words I wouldn't dare say, gave him everything, asking that he only cherish my words in return. 

He told me he loved the words I wrote, and he was the only person ever to know they existed. How lucky I am to have found him. How grateful I am to have had these moments, and now how bitter I am to know it could never last. 

I didn't care about the world, never did, but I put up a facade fooling exactly nobody, pretending that I was one of them, that I belonged in this world of words that made sense and art that didn't tear the universe in two. 

I didn't belong in this world, nor did I belong in any. So I began to create my own, it seemed to be the only way. Theo was the beginning and end of this world. The muse and the destruction. 

Watching and waiting for sense to come or for my life to come crashing down I viewed my life from a stranger's eyes, and I couldn't stand it. I waited a week, and the restless nights and infuriating days got the better of me. 

I showed up at his door once more, uninvited, and he didn't even ask why, the glimmer in his eyes right where I had left it. 

So I wound up in his bed once more, holding him closer than I thought possible, knowing just how precious this moment really was, and I thought of all the ways he was a perfect work of art. The most confusing and wonderfully deceiving piece of work that kept me coming back again and again.


	4. waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I woke up one cold grey morning alone in theos bed, in the room I couldn't understand, and I went to find him, a stranger in the flat without him beside me. 
> 
> It was the first snow of the season, flakes falling right outside the window, cloaking the city. The cold was seeping in.

I gave up my life completely, devoted myself to an idea I never would have considered before meeting Theo, creating music. I knew I had ideas, but they never had a way of taking shape until now, because now I had a voice, theo.

His friends were all along for the ride, agreed to joining us, ready for absolutely anything. 

Everything was in place, so we wrote, we wrote like we had known each other for centuries and the words flowed between us as if we already knew what the other was thinking. It was perfect. He would sit on the bed, and I would be on the chair in the corner of the room, and instead of exchanging words we tossed a styrafoam ball back and forth until one of us would have an idea. 

The first song came quickly, I could see the story I wanted to tell, and the rest flowed with ease. A cinderalla story where the prince leaves her after midnight and all she is left with is the memory. 

I played and he wrote, and the guitar still sat in the corner, and the world went on without us.

Rose continued to mystify me, they knew everything of each other, were never surprised by the strange quality of their lives. She came and went as she pleased, and he hid bottles of scotch and whisky in the bathtub. I didn't ever ask, afraid the dream might end. 

I woke up one cold grey morning alone in theos bed, in the room I couldn't understand, and I went to find him, a stranger in the flat without him beside me. 

It was the first snow of the season, flakes falling right outside the window, cloaking the city. The cold was seeping in.

The telly was on in the living room, Rose watching the news silently as always, the tea in her hands steaming. 

I couldn't believe my eyes when I finally found him, he was sitting on the balcony, still in his bedclothes, white flurries falling down around him like a shroud, I thought he had gone mad. 

The strangest part was rose wasn’t at all surprised, simply turned to me before she spoke.

“He does this, he’ll learn his lesson when he catches a cold tomorrow!”

They were both mad. 

Bundling myself up I brought him a jumper and stood out in the bitter cold with him. He didn't say anything for a long time, barely registered my presence, just continued to watch the snow, waiting for something.

I waited with him. 

We were both shivering and red in the face before he finally made a sound.

“Its Christmas!”

The words out of his mouth were filled with a raw sadness that tore into me in a way I hadn't expected. I didn't know how to help him. 

“ok Theo. Will you come inside now?”

He let me coax him into the flat before he headed straight for the bedroom. I helped him out of his wet clothes and pulled him into the bathroom hoping to get him into a hot shower. I had it running and turned to him to see tears silently streaming down his face, eyes glazed, he was somewhere else, somewhere very far away. 

When the water hit his skin he focused on me, finally, and in desperation he pulled me towards him, stripped me down and kissed me so fiercely that I could feel the cold lingering in his mouth. 

I gave him every part of me, it was all I had to give.


End file.
